Sunday, July 15, 2012

The Pathan, the Patel and the Paggla: An Ahmedabad Experience

This summer I was a part of the "Summer Research Internship Program" at IIT Gandhinagar. I stayed there for exactly 50 days, made new friends there and promised them a post on my blog! This post entirely concentrates on their personalities and my experiences with them.

The Pathan

Imagine a Marwari who is also a bong, and speaks in a Pathani hindi dialect. Now, further imagine the same guy with a slightly weak constitution and an average height. Do not judge him by his appearance! Appearances maybe deceptive and Pathan's INTIMIDATING persona may just prove this old axiom true. Let me narrate an incident when we walked into a certain restaurant, and following was his conversation with the owner cum manager:

Pathan: Suniye...
Owner: Ji?
Pathan: Yeh tum humko kaisa dal deti?
Owner: Kya hua?
Pathan: Humko nai pasand aati! Le jao! (Wallah hum abhi bomb giraati!!)

The owner was so shocked that he asked for a spoon and tasted the Dal himself, he was so frustrated that he ended up fighting with a business associate of his. 

Then, there were times when Pathan told us about his adventures at NIT Calicut, including that one time when someone stole away his undergarments, to which the Paggla remarked:

"Abe jab tum apni chaddhi nai bacha sakte, toh izzat kya bachaoge?!!"

Despite his Pathani trigger happy attitude, he is also a Maadu (Marwari). His Maadu powers include the exact and precise calculation of how much each and everyone has to pay while paying dutch after a dinner. Imagine a guy who informs you:

"Kal maine tumhare 50 Rs pay kare the, aaj tumhara contribution 58.17 Rs banta hai! Aur parso tumne sabke paise diye the aur mera contribution tab 69.33 Rs. banta tha. Toh aaj main tumhare bache 19.33 Rs de raha hoon aur tumhe ab 38.84 Rs dene hain!"

But, our Pathan is very shy around girls. In fact, I and the other two proposed the concept of the Pathan Radius!

Pathan Radius: If a girl is within a certain minimum radial distance (called the Pathan Radius) from the Pathan, his body vitals exhibit an exponential increase, and he runs away!!

Pathan was the luckiest of us 4, he was the first to leave. He left us a very sentimental goodbye note, to which the Patel commented:

"Saala gay hai!! Love letter chhod gaya hai hum logon ke liye!!"

The Patel

A Patel who is NOT a gujju, lives in Odisha and speaks hindi in a Bihari accent! Interestingly, he was my roommate for the entire time period of 50 days. He has a slightly loud personality, more appropriately put, a Bindass one. 

We acknowledged him as our BABA, the spiritual Guru! He has this special way of his own to explain and correlate 2 entirely independent and unrelated events (which obviously left us awe struck!)!! Like any other contemporary Baba, Patel has a taste for girls (as a matter of fact I will not elucidate on that!) 

I and the Paggla devised the Baba Theorem:

Baba Theorem: Everything is a part of your life.

Yes! Everything is a part of your life, any catastrophe, any misfortune, always A PART OF YOUR LIFE!
Simply put, suffix each of your sentences with

"... Yeh bhi life ka ek part hai!!"
  • "Aaj bathroom mein paani nai aa raha. Yeh bhi life ka ek part hai!"
  • "Yaar mera shampoo khatam ho gaya. Yeh bhi life ka ek part hai!"
  • "Arre dhatt... baarish ho rahi hai!! Yeh bhi life ka ek part hai!"
  • "Ricky Martin gay hai! Yeh bhi life ka ek part hai!"
So... Everything is a part of your life!

The Paggla

No, actually he was the luckiest of us all. He was the last to arrive and the second to leave. While, the other 2 were busy with their Maadu and Babagiri antics respectively, the 2 of us had made a habit to observe them and record their exploits, and eventually it was him who constantly pushed me to write this post. I hope I haven't disappointed them.

Anyway, I'd be back with a Superhero themed post next time.

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